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| ig: alyaaziran |
Sunday, September 27, 2015
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I'm here to say I'm sorry. And I'm here to ask you to pray for me, pray that I'd get 9A+ In Shaa Allah. Please pray that I would be a successful doctor one day, and that my journey in pursuing my passion is smooth. Thank you.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
the realest reality
I Hate U I Love U - Gnash (ft. Olivia O'Brien)
This topic is requested by a close friend, hence the sudden eagerness to write. This is for you, N.
Feelings come and go naturally, and they can't be forced. I'm sorry that I hate this one shit boy in class and the other girl in class, too, and I'm sorry that I have loved you ever since that one text many years ago. See, these things we call feelings, it's dangerously sweet. One second it makes you feel like nothing is ever wrong in the world, and the next second you want to die. It makes you want to marry a person, but it's also what makes a divorce happen. Feelings bloom, but they also die. I'd like to think of it as a flower, when you give enough attention to it, they bloom. But sooner or later, they die. And unless you are ready to let the flower go, you too, become consumed of the death of it that they bring you towards your own downfall.
Now, I'm not here to preach on how these strong feelings are supposed to be driven towards Allah and Muhammad SAW because we all are aware of it (and In Shaa Allah we're getting there). I'm here to tell you that sometimes these kind of feeling towards a guy/girl becomes too strong that sometimes you can't let go. He's all that you think about, day and night. In whatever you do, you see yourself doing it with that particular person and whatever you're thinking, you wish that you are able to share it with the person, too. This is already bad (I'm not saying that I don't experience this at all, but I'm struggling not to and hopefully I'll succeed) but what makes it worse for us experiencing this is that they're not even yours to start with. But that's the thing about crushes, no? They literally crush your heart. Aha. Now you know why they're called crushes.
So how do we deal with these overwhelming feelings of love? (I was going to say you don't, but I should stay positive. Ha.) It's going to be a tough ride, but in the end, it's for the best. Sometimes you really need to rid yourself of all the hopes that you have. Don't put too much hope on a person, especially if a person is tied to someone else. It breaks you, I swear. So please, I love you too much to see you break so hard. Act natural -I know I don't do this, but it really helps- especially if you used to be close to the person. Stop and talk to them (really, sab?) and treat them like you used to. I'm not saying that it will make the feeling fade away, it really won't. But when you talk to them often, you tend to miss the person less, and hence less time will be spent thinking of them. Sometimes you only think of the person often because you miss them, like I do. And I still spend time thinking of him, but maybe that's because I don't talk to him. It gets too awkward sometimes. But never mind that. Distractions are good, too. Like books, but don't go for romance or you'll be left with more thoughts on all the romantic things that you'd want to do with her/him. I really can't think of more things on how to make you stop thinking of the person, because really, it depends on you. To me, these ways help best in distracting me of the thoughts. But certain people have different ways (but please, don't drink your way to oblivion or take drugs heh) so how bout you do the thinking now? Dig deep, find ways. But of course, what else is better than the words of Allah, eh?
P. s. I hope this helps, N. I really do. Because I feel the same way, but I know we can get through this. Let's put SPM first on our list, yeah?
P. p. s. And to others, hope this helps, too :-)
This topic is requested by a close friend, hence the sudden eagerness to write. This is for you, N.
Feelings come and go naturally, and they can't be forced. I'm sorry that I hate this one shit boy in class and the other girl in class, too, and I'm sorry that I have loved you ever since that one text many years ago. See, these things we call feelings, it's dangerously sweet. One second it makes you feel like nothing is ever wrong in the world, and the next second you want to die. It makes you want to marry a person, but it's also what makes a divorce happen. Feelings bloom, but they also die. I'd like to think of it as a flower, when you give enough attention to it, they bloom. But sooner or later, they die. And unless you are ready to let the flower go, you too, become consumed of the death of it that they bring you towards your own downfall.
Now, I'm not here to preach on how these strong feelings are supposed to be driven towards Allah and Muhammad SAW because we all are aware of it (and In Shaa Allah we're getting there). I'm here to tell you that sometimes these kind of feeling towards a guy/girl becomes too strong that sometimes you can't let go. He's all that you think about, day and night. In whatever you do, you see yourself doing it with that particular person and whatever you're thinking, you wish that you are able to share it with the person, too. This is already bad (I'm not saying that I don't experience this at all, but I'm struggling not to and hopefully I'll succeed) but what makes it worse for us experiencing this is that they're not even yours to start with. But that's the thing about crushes, no? They literally crush your heart. Aha. Now you know why they're called crushes.
So how do we deal with these overwhelming feelings of love? (I was going to say you don't, but I should stay positive. Ha.) It's going to be a tough ride, but in the end, it's for the best. Sometimes you really need to rid yourself of all the hopes that you have. Don't put too much hope on a person, especially if a person is tied to someone else. It breaks you, I swear. So please, I love you too much to see you break so hard. Act natural -I know I don't do this, but it really helps- especially if you used to be close to the person. Stop and talk to them (really, sab?) and treat them like you used to. I'm not saying that it will make the feeling fade away, it really won't. But when you talk to them often, you tend to miss the person less, and hence less time will be spent thinking of them. Sometimes you only think of the person often because you miss them, like I do. And I still spend time thinking of him, but maybe that's because I don't talk to him. It gets too awkward sometimes. But never mind that. Distractions are good, too. Like books, but don't go for romance or you'll be left with more thoughts on all the romantic things that you'd want to do with her/him. I really can't think of more things on how to make you stop thinking of the person, because really, it depends on you. To me, these ways help best in distracting me of the thoughts. But certain people have different ways (but please, don't drink your way to oblivion or take drugs heh) so how bout you do the thinking now? Dig deep, find ways. But of course, what else is better than the words of Allah, eh?
P. s. I hope this helps, N. I really do. Because I feel the same way, but I know we can get through this. Let's put SPM first on our list, yeah?
P. p. s. And to others, hope this helps, too :-)
Saturday, September 19, 2015
how to survive a tech apocalypse 101
The Struggle - Grizfolk
Imagine being 300km away from home, stuck with 2 (extra) annoying siblings -i'm kidding- and having to watch your phone slip away in just mere seconds. Well congratulations to me! I went through all of the above, hence the title. Now, most of you knows about this tragedy (like Fayed bc i know he would be reading this somewhere, somehow, sometime) would be laughing your ass out, but to those who don't, I lost my phone to the toilet. Yes, it jumped out of my pocket. YES I DROPPED IT IN THE TOILET BECAUSE IT JUMPED OUT OF THE POCKET OF MY STUPID KHAKIS. And the worst part is, the only part that survived was the back cover. How useless. But here's some tips for all you who cannot be separated with technology (esp your phone) like me because honestly, I kept searching my pocket and my bag for the phone that was probably already sinking in some stupid poop place. Hoho.
#1 : Never EVER put your phone in your pocket when going to the toilet.
Okay maybe this one suits 'how to prevent a tech apocalypse' more than 'surviving a tech apocalypse' but it is the most important thing you should remember because not having a phone sucks. It really does. (especially when you have just rekindled your friendship with a certain someone and you're desperate to text them but you can't). So remember, no phones in the toilet!!!!!!!
#2 : Take a few moments to grieve over it, but remember to get back up on your feet.
Cry as much as you want, but keep it short. Keep it less emotional because well, even if there are a lot of meaningful texts and conversations in the phone, the memories are still etched in your brain, no?
#3 : Find something else to be attached to (a person could be good too, jk).
It is a well known fact that I'm a bookworm, so I took an initiative to search for books as a distraction. This is a great step, because for someone who constantly craves for the touch of the phone (like me), it gives you something better to focus on. Or maybe instead of books you can find people to fangirl (like Angel) (I'm kidding) or newfound friends who share the same sorrow as you.
#4 : Borrow phones, but be considerate.
Aha. I borrowed my dorm mate's phones (and the aforementioned annoying friend's phone, too) to call my parents, too but try to keep it at the minimum level. School kids tends to use prepaid more than postpaid so let's keep that in mind, shall we?
#5 : When telling your parents, pick the one that you think is going to be less angry at you .
Losing your phone down the toilet is a goddamned tragedy which tends to get most people in huge trouble. Luckily, I wasn't one of the victims of this huge trouble. But really, I told my mum immediately and I thought she'd flip, but she didn't. I guess she was in a good mood :-) Choose wisely, friends. Haha.
#6 : Solve the problem.
Get a new sim card, renew your number, that sort of stuff. It is vital that you update the people around you if you wish to change your number. (i'm honestly too lazy to continue with this)
I shall leave you to ponder on this, but please, try to prevent losing your phone. It sucks a lot hoho.
Til I find time and inspiration to write, ciao.
Imagine being 300km away from home, stuck with 2 (extra) annoying siblings -i'm kidding- and having to watch your phone slip away in just mere seconds. Well congratulations to me! I went through all of the above, hence the title. Now, most of you knows about this tragedy (like Fayed bc i know he would be reading this somewhere, somehow, sometime) would be laughing your ass out, but to those who don't, I lost my phone to the toilet. Yes, it jumped out of my pocket. YES I DROPPED IT IN THE TOILET BECAUSE IT JUMPED OUT OF THE POCKET OF MY STUPID KHAKIS. And the worst part is, the only part that survived was the back cover. How useless. But here's some tips for all you who cannot be separated with technology (esp your phone) like me because honestly, I kept searching my pocket and my bag for the phone that was probably already sinking in some stupid poop place. Hoho.
#1 : Never EVER put your phone in your pocket when going to the toilet.
Okay maybe this one suits 'how to prevent a tech apocalypse' more than 'surviving a tech apocalypse' but it is the most important thing you should remember because not having a phone sucks. It really does. (especially when you have just rekindled your friendship with a certain someone and you're desperate to text them but you can't). So remember, no phones in the toilet!!!!!!!
#2 : Take a few moments to grieve over it, but remember to get back up on your feet.
Cry as much as you want, but keep it short. Keep it less emotional because well, even if there are a lot of meaningful texts and conversations in the phone, the memories are still etched in your brain, no?
#3 : Find something else to be attached to (a person could be good too, jk).
It is a well known fact that I'm a bookworm, so I took an initiative to search for books as a distraction. This is a great step, because for someone who constantly craves for the touch of the phone (like me), it gives you something better to focus on. Or maybe instead of books you can find people to fangirl (like Angel) (I'm kidding) or newfound friends who share the same sorrow as you.
#4 : Borrow phones, but be considerate.
Aha. I borrowed my dorm mate's phones (and the aforementioned annoying friend's phone, too) to call my parents, too but try to keep it at the minimum level. School kids tends to use prepaid more than postpaid so let's keep that in mind, shall we?
#5 : When telling your parents, pick the one that you think is going to be less angry at you .
Losing your phone down the toilet is a goddamned tragedy which tends to get most people in huge trouble. Luckily, I wasn't one of the victims of this huge trouble. But really, I told my mum immediately and I thought she'd flip, but she didn't. I guess she was in a good mood :-) Choose wisely, friends. Haha.
#6 : Solve the problem.
Get a new sim card, renew your number, that sort of stuff. It is vital that you update the people around you if you wish to change your number. (i'm honestly too lazy to continue with this)
I shall leave you to ponder on this, but please, try to prevent losing your phone. It sucks a lot hoho.
Til I find time and inspiration to write, ciao.
Saturday, August 15, 2015
I Can't Stop
Heart Like Yours - Willamette Stone
I know I said I wasn't going to write until SPM, tonight feels like one of the night I should be writing. So I write.
In life, unexpected things happen. You fall in and out of love everyday, you bump into a person you once knew, life just happens the way it does. Sometimes, you plan and it doesn't work out because life got in the way. Well, maybe that's how it's supposed to be. But that's not my point. Being in a boarding school, I know everyone and I can say that pretty much everyone knows me, too (maybe the younger ones don't but-) and sometimes I don't always get along with people. Somehow, this year, my relationships with people improved, and I started to talk more with the people I usually don't ever talk to. Heck, I still hate a lot of people from here but I could say that it has.......well, decreased (perhaps by 0.01%). The thing is, these people I don't talk to didn't turn out to be quite the person I expected them to be. I don't judge them on a first impression basis, because I've been with them for almost five years now. I observe and I think of how they would behave. But oh well, I'm not always right, am I? They turn out quite better than I expected them to be, though some did prove my positive thinking about them wrong. Regardless, I've learned that maybe everything is not how it seems. And maybe, it could be better. So hey, why not smile to the next person you meet? It could be the start to an amazing friendship........or it could be a disaster. Whatever. I choose to live recklessly (really???) (while obeying the obligations of Islam, of course) (nah I don't think so but yes let's believe I'll live recklessly)
I wrote this a while ago but the internet at school was being difficult and stubborn. So here it is, my thoughts from over a week ago (because I thought of writing a new one but I've literally no idea on what to say). But hey, new header everyone everybody [cue all the imaginary screams and shouts]!
I know I said I wasn't going to write until SPM, tonight feels like one of the night I should be writing. So I write.
In life, unexpected things happen. You fall in and out of love everyday, you bump into a person you once knew, life just happens the way it does. Sometimes, you plan and it doesn't work out because life got in the way. Well, maybe that's how it's supposed to be. But that's not my point. Being in a boarding school, I know everyone and I can say that pretty much everyone knows me, too (maybe the younger ones don't but-) and sometimes I don't always get along with people. Somehow, this year, my relationships with people improved, and I started to talk more with the people I usually don't ever talk to. Heck, I still hate a lot of people from here but I could say that it has.......well, decreased (perhaps by 0.01%). The thing is, these people I don't talk to didn't turn out to be quite the person I expected them to be. I don't judge them on a first impression basis, because I've been with them for almost five years now. I observe and I think of how they would behave. But oh well, I'm not always right, am I? They turn out quite better than I expected them to be, though some did prove my positive thinking about them wrong. Regardless, I've learned that maybe everything is not how it seems. And maybe, it could be better. So hey, why not smile to the next person you meet? It could be the start to an amazing friendship........or it could be a disaster. Whatever. I choose to live recklessly (really???) (while obeying the obligations of Islam, of course) (nah I don't think so but yes let's believe I'll live recklessly)
I wrote this a while ago but the internet at school was being difficult and stubborn. So here it is, my thoughts from over a week ago (because I thought of writing a new one but I've literally no idea on what to say). But hey, new header everyone everybody [cue all the imaginary screams and shouts]!
Friday, June 12, 2015
Goodbye life
F*ck You - Lily Allen
Goodbye life, hello books.
While waiting for Grey's Anatomy to load, I thought that it'd be a good idea for me to update this crappy blog for the last time (maybe). You see, SPM is just a couple of months away and MARA trials are just around the corner. Well, not really but considering how time flies so fast these days, then yes. Ramadhan is a few days away, yay! Let's hope we all get another month of fasting, eh?
So this is it. Perhaps this might be the last post until SPM is over, so I'd like to do my speech now.
To anyone whom I've hurt/offended/etc , please forgive me for my irrational behaviour. I'm not going to find excuses for why I did it, but I did it and it's wrong. So I'm sorry.
To anyone and everyone who has helped me anywhere, anytime, thank you so much. You helped me become who I am today. May Allah bless you.
Wish me luck in SPM, In Shaa Allah.
Goodbye life, hello books.
While waiting for Grey's Anatomy to load, I thought that it'd be a good idea for me to update this crappy blog for the last time (maybe). You see, SPM is just a couple of months away and MARA trials are just around the corner. Well, not really but considering how time flies so fast these days, then yes. Ramadhan is a few days away, yay! Let's hope we all get another month of fasting, eh?
So this is it. Perhaps this might be the last post until SPM is over, so I'd like to do my speech now.
To anyone whom I've hurt/offended/etc , please forgive me for my irrational behaviour. I'm not going to find excuses for why I did it, but I did it and it's wrong. So I'm sorry.
To anyone and everyone who has helped me anywhere, anytime, thank you so much. You helped me become who I am today. May Allah bless you.
Wish me luck in SPM, In Shaa Allah.
Wednesday, June 3, 2015
Falling Out
Kun Anta - Humood AlKhudher
We all have that one friend whom we turn to, anytime, anywhere. I used to have one. Used. What happened, really? I honestly do not know. Closures aren't my area of expertise because most of the time I end up being overly emotional or just plain angry. But I'm not here to rant about my lost friendship, but to address on the general topic of friendship instead. The story behind my already lost friendship should remain personal, so be it.
The thing about having these kind of friends is that you always know that they'll be there for you so when you need them, they're really just a text or a phone call away. No, it's not called using your friend, calling and talking to them only when you need them. It's a kind of friendship you need to hold on to because it's the honest kind, it's that one friendship where you do not need to be in contact with each other 24/7 but you know that you're there for each other.
However, when you fall out of these kind of friendships, you tend to feel a huge loss. Been there, done that. Heh. The thing is, the broken bond between you and your friend creates some sort of physical pain because who else would stick with you now? It's a lingering pain, I tell you, until one day it just fades away and all you're left with is loneliness and anger. The anger doesn't come from the broken friendship, it comes from you, most of the time blaming yourself for giving up on the friend. Yes, you might have been apologising your heart out to him/her and they might've 'accepted' it but truth is, sometimes it cannot be fixed. Like shattered glass, even if you glue it together the crack lines are still there to remind you of the problems that got in between you and them. Hence, you are left with the 'awkward friendship' where you still have each other's numbers but rarely texts each other and you still follow their Twitter and Instagram, occasionally liking their pictures and retweeting things. But you say nothing to each other, no words uttered, no problems shared, not even birthday wishes.
I don't know about you but I find myself holding on to something a little longer than necessary, and in these kind of situations I always end up being the clingy one, constantly apologising (for things I did not even do) and hoping that the friendship would fix it way back to the way it was before. I end up being wrong 99.9% of the time, but I keep doing it. Maybe it's the guilt, or the memories that keeps bringing me back to what was already too damaged.
Maybe it's good that you apologise and hope that it will eventually be okay, but sometimes letting go is the only solution. You let go of the memories, let go of all the bad times and the good times. Tell yourself that you can stand on your own, and maybe create new memories with new people. Forgive them for everything and anything that they've done to you and perhaps you'll find yourself a little more content than you've probably felt in months. Oh and on another note, even if you did let go of everything, you must know that it is okay for you to be missing them at times, we're all human after all.
p.s. I'm home!!!!!! :)
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
DUFF???
Boom Clap - Charli XCX
It's 3am and I have just finished watching The Duff (hence the title for god's sake lol). Like many other times, I don't really care what time it currently is, my fingers just have this itch to tap the keyboard for hours, and here it is.
A few days ago, my friends started leaving (as you might have read, they left for college through the SPC programme). First it was Qistina, then Mimi and Fifa. Heck, it was a lot to handle. I've never cried so much in my life, but the sadness came to me like a tornado, sucking me into the vortex of non-stop crying. But that didn't matter. I knew I would get over the crying, but not the going away part, ever. The thing about people leaving is that you would finally realise how much they mean to you or some other person and they make you think really hard of how you've been taking them for granted this whole time. Trust me, I would've known. Fifa and I had a bit of a fall out earlier this year, a large part of it caused by the separation on classes but if it wasn't for the school drama team, our friendship wouldn't have survived. But that's not the point here. When I knew she got the SPC offer, I was beyond ecstatic. Never once had the thought of losing her registered in my mind until one day, it hit me like a truck.
Let me enlighten you on some of the events of when I was 13 to make you understand how much Fifa really mean to me. Despite being the eldest, I never really went anywhere alone. I rarely go to camps (most of the time I skip it) and that made me a little spoiled. Having to leave home to study in a cramped, isolated place about 300 km away, I was damn homesick. God knows how much I made my parents worry (sorry mum and dad, yikes) and here's a secret; I cried everyday up until August. That was when I started to really pair up with Fifa and decided to become 'BFFs' (if we could evven be called that). Sure, I had spent a fair amount of months hanging out with her before, but this time it got more intense and serious. Now that I think of it, she might be one of the reasons why I was able -to go through my high school years.
Today, I realised that she turned me into something better without even me realising it. God, I wish I didn't try to ignore her a few weeks before she left. I really thought my plan would work; ignore,be separated, drift away and hurt less when she leaves. I was damn wrong. It made me miss her more, to be really honest. I'm holding up (hopefully) and Fa, you better watch your back. I'm catching up. Heh.
P.s . I think I'm the DUFF in not only our relationship, but in many other group of friends that I'm associated with. But what hell, I'm not going to let some stupid acronym ruin my life. Get over it. We are what we are. You are who you are. So own up to it. Be you.
Til' my fingers start to itch for the keyboard again, ciao! (since when do I do goodbyes?? lol)
It's 3am and I have just finished watching The Duff (hence the title for god's sake lol). Like many other times, I don't really care what time it currently is, my fingers just have this itch to tap the keyboard for hours, and here it is.
A few days ago, my friends started leaving (as you might have read, they left for college through the SPC programme). First it was Qistina, then Mimi and Fifa. Heck, it was a lot to handle. I've never cried so much in my life, but the sadness came to me like a tornado, sucking me into the vortex of non-stop crying. But that didn't matter. I knew I would get over the crying, but not the going away part, ever. The thing about people leaving is that you would finally realise how much they mean to you or some other person and they make you think really hard of how you've been taking them for granted this whole time. Trust me, I would've known. Fifa and I had a bit of a fall out earlier this year, a large part of it caused by the separation on classes but if it wasn't for the school drama team, our friendship wouldn't have survived. But that's not the point here. When I knew she got the SPC offer, I was beyond ecstatic. Never once had the thought of losing her registered in my mind until one day, it hit me like a truck.
Let me enlighten you on some of the events of when I was 13 to make you understand how much Fifa really mean to me. Despite being the eldest, I never really went anywhere alone. I rarely go to camps (most of the time I skip it) and that made me a little spoiled. Having to leave home to study in a cramped, isolated place about 300 km away, I was damn homesick. God knows how much I made my parents worry (sorry mum and dad, yikes) and here's a secret; I cried everyday up until August. That was when I started to really pair up with Fifa and decided to become 'BFFs' (if we could evven be called that). Sure, I had spent a fair amount of months hanging out with her before, but this time it got more intense and serious. Now that I think of it, she might be one of the reasons why I was able -to go through my high school years.
Today, I realised that she turned me into something better without even me realising it. God, I wish I didn't try to ignore her a few weeks before she left. I really thought my plan would work; ignore,be separated, drift away and hurt less when she leaves. I was damn wrong. It made me miss her more, to be really honest. I'm holding up (hopefully) and Fa, you better watch your back. I'm catching up. Heh.
P.s . I think I'm the DUFF in not only our relationship, but in many other group of friends that I'm associated with. But what hell, I'm not going to let some stupid acronym ruin my life. Get over it. We are what we are. You are who you are. So own up to it. Be you.
Til' my fingers start to itch for the keyboard again, ciao! (since when do I do goodbyes?? lol)
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
0059
Langit #flyinghigh - Yuna
It's a minute til' one and I decided too write before I finally go to bed and face tomorrow. I mean, today. The morning light. I realized that my last post was a bit well, unplanned and all over the place. Can't complain, really. I was damn confused and worried. Anyway, I don't really have anything planned for this post, but I really just wanted to write.
Fear ; the feeling of being afraid.
Now, the definition up there is really just a mere gist of what fear really is. Fear is subjective. It depends on how you see it, on how you feel it. What you think of it. What are you afraid of? For me, it's not being to see my family ever again. And to think of it, that is just one of the many fears of mine.
You see, people fear many different things. Yet, we all have one thing in common. We fear rejection. Ever hesitated when wanting to ask someone out? Or perhaps the insecurities that haunt you whenever you're around your friends, worrying that one day you'll be out of the circle for 'not fitting in'? Honestly, I fear rejection too. Trust me, I do. Up until today, I still don't have the guts to tell the boy I've liked for 3 years about my feelings (yikes this got a little personal). But never mind that, the thing is here, we are all the same. I bet even the boy I like is hesitating to tell a certain someone about his feelings, too. Gah. It all doesn't matter. Truth is, rejection is normal. And so is the fear towards rejection. I'm not going to tell you to say, "Oh, f*** it." and do whatever you want to do (e.g confessing to your all time crush) because come on, even I wouldn't have enough courage to do exactly that under certain circumstances. But you know what we can all do? Embrace the fear and turn it into a motivation. Hey, I was once scared that I was going to be rejected by the entire school society, and look where I am now. Prove to the people that fear does not stop you from doing what you want to do. In certain conditions and circumstances, it's perfectly okay for you to stop and not do it. Wait. Until the day you finally have the courage to do it, the best thing to do is wait.
In conclusion, what I'm really trying to say is it's okay to give in to your fears and insecurities. But you can't easily give up! Turn your fears into motivations and I promise you, great things will come.
p.s. Til we meet again, ciao! Pls pray that I'd go through my semester exams smoothly.
p.p.s. I met the one and only Aiman Azlan! (check out my instagram ; alyaaziran , for the picture)
Friday, May 1, 2015
Odlučiti
Salted Wound - Sia
And the story goes like this.
It has been months since I last updated but that's a whole different story. During that period, many things have happened, including the infamous SPC program for the excellent kids. Now, I do not want to dwell on the fact that I didn't get it because heck no I'm not qualified at all. But the thing is, with all these talks and conversations about scholarships and courses got me thinking ; What do I really want to be?
Ever since I was a young lil' Miss Sunshine running around, I have always wanted to be a doctor. Well, it started out from wanting to be that and many other things, but really I just keep coming back to choosing that career. At the age of 5 (or 6) (possibly older but-), I started watching ER on Hallmark. Yes, those were the days. But nevertheless, I may or may not have been (indirectly) exposed to the Medicine field and I love it. I can't think of myself being anything else because I have been living to pursue my studies in Medicine.
However, life is not as easy as I thought it'd be. Mind you, not getting SPC was a whole other problem because come on, who are we kidding? SPC helps a LOT in getting a step closer to a better future. SPM, on the other hand, oh god. I don't really know what to make of it, you see. I have spent 4 [long] years studying IGCSE and now it's a whole new prospect and technique, I don't know if I can nail it. Like they all say, Megapower is strong in terms of content but not technique. Oh, did I mention SPM is all about techniques?
Mum has been telling me that there aren't many scholarships given out for Medicine because it's costly and a lot of people is taking it. But then again, that's what I want to do. Mind you, I really love hospitals. But that's really not the point here. I need to have a backup plan. And honestly, at this point, I'm lost. Having to think of another alternative to live out your future when you have been planning and daydreaming about it your whole life. This is hard. God knows how torn I am between all these career choices and what I like. It's really important to choose based on what I love because I do not want to spend my whole life fretting over how much I hate what I'm doing.
What do I do?
p. s . Honestly, this doesn't sound like me at all. I'm properly ranting. And that means I'm really distraught because if I wasn't I'd probably write this in a better form. I'm sorry. Immature side of me is revealing itself and refusing to go away while I was writing this.
And the story goes like this.
It has been months since I last updated but that's a whole different story. During that period, many things have happened, including the infamous SPC program for the excellent kids. Now, I do not want to dwell on the fact that I didn't get it because heck no I'm not qualified at all. But the thing is, with all these talks and conversations about scholarships and courses got me thinking ; What do I really want to be?
Ever since I was a young lil' Miss Sunshine running around, I have always wanted to be a doctor. Well, it started out from wanting to be that and many other things, but really I just keep coming back to choosing that career. At the age of 5 (or 6) (possibly older but-), I started watching ER on Hallmark. Yes, those were the days. But nevertheless, I may or may not have been (indirectly) exposed to the Medicine field and I love it. I can't think of myself being anything else because I have been living to pursue my studies in Medicine.
However, life is not as easy as I thought it'd be. Mind you, not getting SPC was a whole other problem because come on, who are we kidding? SPC helps a LOT in getting a step closer to a better future. SPM, on the other hand, oh god. I don't really know what to make of it, you see. I have spent 4 [long] years studying IGCSE and now it's a whole new prospect and technique, I don't know if I can nail it. Like they all say, Megapower is strong in terms of content but not technique. Oh, did I mention SPM is all about techniques?
Mum has been telling me that there aren't many scholarships given out for Medicine because it's costly and a lot of people is taking it. But then again, that's what I want to do. Mind you, I really love hospitals. But that's really not the point here. I need to have a backup plan. And honestly, at this point, I'm lost. Having to think of another alternative to live out your future when you have been planning and daydreaming about it your whole life. This is hard. God knows how torn I am between all these career choices and what I like. It's really important to choose based on what I love because I do not want to spend my whole life fretting over how much I hate what I'm doing.
What do I do?
p. s . Honestly, this doesn't sound like me at all. I'm properly ranting. And that means I'm really distraught because if I wasn't I'd probably write this in a better form. I'm sorry. Immature side of me is revealing itself and refusing to go away while I was writing this.
Saturday, February 21, 2015
Yikes
Bulletproof Love - Pierce The Veil
My ustazah prayed for her soulmate since she was 17, so no criticizing what I'm going to write about, yeah? (excuses, la da da)
It dawned on me that I've got a bunch of shitty attitude and habits that might bother some people, and it also dawned on me that oh my god, how can my future husband handle this emotional mess? So I felt like writing a long-ass post about this and that that I think would definitely embarrass me, but I am already a humiliation, so why not?
So let's start with Issue #1.
Issue #1; I'm emotional af. I cry at unreasonable times, about irrational things in the most hideous way anyone could possibly cry. Especially at that time, (you know when). It's probably my teen hormones going cuckoo before it finally rationalizes itself at a certain point of my life, but what if it stays this way? I definitely think no one can put up with this, one of the reasons why I'm never getting married.
Issue #2; I get irritated so easily. It's as easy as flipping a switch, I swear. Do something and you might ruin my entire day. Oops. I guess I don't live up to the expectations of my name (alya sabrina means great patience, oh god). My patience is as fragile as ice, it might break anytime I swear. Especially if I like you. Because you irritate me most for making me like like you, and then you go and irritate me for real. Bad move, love. Whoops. Now you know who they meant when they put up "Bride kills newly-wed husband due to extreme irritation" on tomorrow's front page of the newspaper.
Issue #3; Holy guacamole I'm clingy af. AND not like normal clingy, like clingy clingy. I might be calling/texting you just to know your whereabouts and I'll miss you like crazy until I turn cray cray for real. Yikes,
Issue #4; I'm such a hugger. Like, I like hugging things (and people). So much. How does one live with someone like this? Ugh. This doesn't even need elaborations because it gives so much definition already.
Issue #5; I talk a lot. Who the hell wants to listen to me ranting about life hierarchy and the unfairness of life and how I want to change the world ,etc??? I might feel like telling you about something and trust me, it'll wander off topic so abruptly and I'll talk about things completely unrelated. Hence again why I'm never getting married.
Issue #6; (Last one, I swear) I don't know what I want. I might want you and then not and then yes. [but if I married you then yes obviously I want you] but that's the point. I might not talk to you for 20 seconds but then realize I'm the shitty one in the relationship and be normal again....or maybe I might not talk to you for a day only to miss you and cry about stupid things (issue no.1) I did and apologize my heart out to you (and repeat the process two days later).
But yes, that's about it. Truthfully I'm getting lazy to write, but this is long enough for my standard, lol. Yikes. That says a lot about this blog and how much I update, no? Heh.
This is my cue to say, "If you think you can put up with this attitude, sign up here." Jk. I'm not serious, no. Not at all. When the time comes, it'll come. For now, I'll just live my single life like I always do.
p.s woah this post is so childish and weird. It'll probably be up for a couple of days and I'll delete it if I remember. Have a good day, everyone.
p.p.s I won't be updating for a while, leaving my iPod back home for a couple of weeks. Hmmm.
My ustazah prayed for her soulmate since she was 17, so no criticizing what I'm going to write about, yeah? (excuses, la da da)
It dawned on me that I've got a bunch of shitty attitude and habits that might bother some people, and it also dawned on me that oh my god, how can my future husband handle this emotional mess? So I felt like writing a long-ass post about this and that that I think would definitely embarrass me, but I am already a humiliation, so why not?
So let's start with Issue #1.
Issue #1; I'm emotional af. I cry at unreasonable times, about irrational things in the most hideous way anyone could possibly cry. Especially at that time, (you know when). It's probably my teen hormones going cuckoo before it finally rationalizes itself at a certain point of my life, but what if it stays this way? I definitely think no one can put up with this, one of the reasons why I'm never getting married.
Issue #2; I get irritated so easily. It's as easy as flipping a switch, I swear. Do something and you might ruin my entire day. Oops. I guess I don't live up to the expectations of my name (alya sabrina means great patience, oh god). My patience is as fragile as ice, it might break anytime I swear. Especially if I like you. Because you irritate me most for making me like like you, and then you go and irritate me for real. Bad move, love. Whoops. Now you know who they meant when they put up "Bride kills newly-wed husband due to extreme irritation" on tomorrow's front page of the newspaper.
Issue #3; Holy guacamole I'm clingy af. AND not like normal clingy, like clingy clingy. I might be calling/texting you just to know your whereabouts and I'll miss you like crazy until I turn cray cray for real. Yikes,
Issue #4; I'm such a hugger. Like, I like hugging things (and people). So much. How does one live with someone like this? Ugh. This doesn't even need elaborations because it gives so much definition already.
Issue #5; I talk a lot. Who the hell wants to listen to me ranting about life hierarchy and the unfairness of life and how I want to change the world ,etc??? I might feel like telling you about something and trust me, it'll wander off topic so abruptly and I'll talk about things completely unrelated. Hence again why I'm never getting married.
Issue #6; (Last one, I swear) I don't know what I want. I might want you and then not and then yes. [but if I married you then yes obviously I want you] but that's the point. I might not talk to you for 20 seconds but then realize I'm the shitty one in the relationship and be normal again....or maybe I might not talk to you for a day only to miss you and cry about stupid things (issue no.1) I did and apologize my heart out to you (and repeat the process two days later).
But yes, that's about it. Truthfully I'm getting lazy to write, but this is long enough for my standard, lol. Yikes. That says a lot about this blog and how much I update, no? Heh.
This is my cue to say, "If you think you can put up with this attitude, sign up here." Jk. I'm not serious, no. Not at all. When the time comes, it'll come. For now, I'll just live my single life like I always do.
p.s woah this post is so childish and weird. It'll probably be up for a couple of days and I'll delete it if I remember. Have a good day, everyone.
p.p.s I won't be updating for a while, leaving my iPod back home for a couple of weeks. Hmmm.
Monday, January 26, 2015
You matter
This Love - Taylor Swift
I've been wanting to write for quite a while, but the internet here was being shit and it didn't get published.
Results are out and I'm actually pretty happy of how they turned out. I wouldn't have expected a B for biology but I guess that's fine. Anyway, that's not the whole point of this.
Throughout camp, I realised that wise people are very rare to find, yet they're everywhere. Not all educated people are wise people, and I happen to bump into one at the camp. I was helping out the chef on the grill, and we found ourselves discussing life. Now, this may be one of the very common topics to discuss around me because I know there's more than what meets the eye. You see someone perfectly happy and content but you can never read his thoughts, you never can never know how it feels to be him.
Now, we can't have everything in life. But it's truly not impossible if we actually work for it. I've been dreaming of pursuing my dreams in the field of Medicine but I now believe that maybe God has something better in store for me. I've still got my SPM to go through, but regardless of that I'm still trying to make the most out of my IGCSE results. Whether that is a good idea or not, I am still going to try.
It's messed up how Malaysians keep in stressing on SPM. They say it's not everything, but everything starts with it. Oh that's all bull. Don't set your mind on this, because if you don't get great results for SPM, you are still able to succeed in life. Work hard towards achieving a life how you want it, love every second of it and have a job that you're passionate about. Why bother what everyone is saying? Sure, maybe you don't get great paying jobs but surely without you, the world would be lacking of someone that matters.
Never think of yourself as an unimportant role in the world. Even the ones who have the most disgusting, low paying jobs in the world matter. The hierarchy of life is simple. Without the ones at the bottom, there will be no one at the top. So don't ever think you do not matter.
You matter.
P.s. Here's a picture of myself from when my parents came the other day. Have a great day, everyone.
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Apaixonado
Old Shoes - Adam Barnes
Wow. 2 posts in less than a day. I'm impressed with myself.
I wrote a whole paragraph of me clarifying the situation, but I don't think that'll help anyway. I need this, I need to write. Mainly because I'm bored, but I haven't been writing for a while so this is going to make up for all the lost times.
Instagram. People post pictures of their lives, of their friends, from all over the world. We follow, we unfollow, we like and unlike pictures. It honestly annoys the s*** out of me when some of you go all 'woah hispstur' or 'poser af' on the comments. You have rights, and they have rights, too. Their rights are to post any picture they decide to, and it's none of your business. As followers, your rights are all about wanting to like or not like the picture. There is no rule of when you follow someone, you are obligated to like their pictures. No. If you don't like the picture, or perhaps you think it's too hipster, then don't like it. If you don't like their whole feed, there's always the unfollow button. It's one thing to comment rude things like that (even if you were joking) and it's another to condemn the person for posting a picture that you don't like. As said above, you're just a click away, you can unfollow anytime.
p.s. Very sorry that this got way too emotional. Someone had to say it. And I decided that I'm going to be that someone. Sorry.
p.p.s. Apaixonado means in love. I wanted this to be a sappy love post, but that would be so immature of me (though this one is quite immature, too).
Wow. 2 posts in less than a day. I'm impressed with myself.
I can't put my finger on which annoys me the most ; the fact that I'm still hung up on someone or how some people are mad at me because of the said issue.There’s a corner of my heart that is yours. And I don’t mean for now, or until I’ve found somebody else, I mean forever. I mean to say that whether I fall in love a thousand times over or once or never again, there’ll always be a small quiet place in my heart that belongs only to you.- Beau Taplin || T h e C o r n e r
I wrote a whole paragraph of me clarifying the situation, but I don't think that'll help anyway. I need this, I need to write. Mainly because I'm bored, but I haven't been writing for a while so this is going to make up for all the lost times.
Instagram. People post pictures of their lives, of their friends, from all over the world. We follow, we unfollow, we like and unlike pictures. It honestly annoys the s*** out of me when some of you go all 'woah hispstur' or 'poser af' on the comments. You have rights, and they have rights, too. Their rights are to post any picture they decide to, and it's none of your business. As followers, your rights are all about wanting to like or not like the picture. There is no rule of when you follow someone, you are obligated to like their pictures. No. If you don't like the picture, or perhaps you think it's too hipster, then don't like it. If you don't like their whole feed, there's always the unfollow button. It's one thing to comment rude things like that (even if you were joking) and it's another to condemn the person for posting a picture that you don't like. As said above, you're just a click away, you can unfollow anytime.
p.s. Very sorry that this got way too emotional. Someone had to say it. And I decided that I'm going to be that someone. Sorry.
p.p.s. Apaixonado means in love. I wanted this to be a sappy love post, but that would be so immature of me (though this one is quite immature, too).
Looking Back
Poison And Wine - The Civil Wars
I am supposed to be studying and finishing my homework but I had the urge to rant. So, here I am.
Looking back at 2014, there's a lot of things that I think I have achieved mentally and physically. I am still same old fat sab, but physically I think I'm accepting myself better. I'm not happy because I know I should be a lot more fitter than this, I'm 17, but I am happy that I am able to not feel very ungrateful for the way my body is right now. Mentally, I think I have grown a lot more mature. I read my own blog the other day, and it felt like reading a diary. I reverted all my previous posts into my drafts and truth be told, I'm horrified. What did I even write? I think if I were to put them all back on the blog, you can actually compare and see the difference between the former me. Wow, that says a lot about how a year can change so much of you.
Now that I'm nearing 17, I feel a lot more pressure. The big responsibility of SPM is there, and don't even mention the IGCSE results that's almost out. In a way, my style of thinking has really developed into something more as I grow. I'm not totally useless, and my voice should definitely be heard. Age does not define anything, not even maturity or experience. Other kids around the world have seen more of life than you have in your 17 years of life, trust me. Gah, now I know why I needed to rant. Personal isssues. Whatever.
17. Seventeen. Oh my god.
p.s. This might or might not be the last post before I head off to start my last year of being in Trazak. Have a fun year!
I am supposed to be studying and finishing my homework but I had the urge to rant. So, here I am.
Looking back at 2014, there's a lot of things that I think I have achieved mentally and physically. I am still same old fat sab, but physically I think I'm accepting myself better. I'm not happy because I know I should be a lot more fitter than this, I'm 17, but I am happy that I am able to not feel very ungrateful for the way my body is right now. Mentally, I think I have grown a lot more mature. I read my own blog the other day, and it felt like reading a diary. I reverted all my previous posts into my drafts and truth be told, I'm horrified. What did I even write? I think if I were to put them all back on the blog, you can actually compare and see the difference between the former me. Wow, that says a lot about how a year can change so much of you.
Now that I'm nearing 17, I feel a lot more pressure. The big responsibility of SPM is there, and don't even mention the IGCSE results that's almost out. In a way, my style of thinking has really developed into something more as I grow. I'm not totally useless, and my voice should definitely be heard. Age does not define anything, not even maturity or experience. Other kids around the world have seen more of life than you have in your 17 years of life, trust me. Gah, now I know why I needed to rant. Personal isssues. Whatever.
17. Seventeen. Oh my god.
p.s. This might or might not be the last post before I head off to start my last year of being in Trazak. Have a fun year!
Friday, October 31, 2014
Euphoric
Stay High - Tove Lo
Exam month? Yes, whatever. I'm writing anyway.
Gah, how long haven't I been writing? Must be a few months, at the very least. Blame my busy student schedule and what not (not really a solid reason but I need one). It's 12.10 am and I'm tapping away trying to find things to write about.
How do you overcome your greatest sorrow?
For me, I find solace in airplanes. Look up and find wonders beneath all the clouds, no? I'd give up everything just to be on airplanes for the rest of my life, as long as I am able to see. Sometimes my heart drops at the sight of an airplane in the night sky because of jealousy. Insane, yes I know. But those people on board, they get to enjoy one of the greatest pleasures of life, flying and seeing the world from above. Gosh, the lights. How can one even describe the feeling they get when they're up high? Perhaps what I felt was intense euphoria. I can smile even at the thought of airplanes. I'd probably be diagnosed with obsession if a medical doctor read this, hmph.
Anyway, this is really getting out of topic. I get carried away when I talk about airplanes, yes. What I was getting to is that for us Muslims, we should always find solace in the words of Allah. The Quran was sent to give us guidance. When you're sad, why not read the Quran? Here's a tip; When you're in doubt, or sad or anything, grab a tafseer and randomly turn to a page. He will speak to you through the words, He will. Trust me.
In Surah Ad-Dhuha, He said;
"Wawa Jada Ka Daalan Fa Hada"
And He found you lost and guided [you]. (93:7)
What else are we trying to deny? Isn't this enough proof? Look around you.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
More hiatus???
Gone , gone , gone - Phillip Phillips
I've been talking about strangers a little bit too much lately, aha. I guess I've been too influenced because somehow this one week holiday has made me realize that sometimes strangers make the best companion.
Anyway, IGCSEs are in October and I'm yet to be studying and preparing. Major exams means a long hiatus for this blog, but I don't really know. I might just keep blogging and blogging (not that I blog much anyway) just to release the stress. After all, writing does help in certain ways,no?
Hence, to anyone reading this, I ask for your kindness indeed to pray for me for the upcoming finals and also IGCSEs. Thank you in advance if anyone even reads this blog lol.
Ps. Ignore what people say about you. People are going to talk eventually. ( And yes, it's easier said than done but what least we try)
Thursday, September 4, 2014
Mentality
Wanted - Hunter Hayes
So yes I've changed my blog name yada yada hypocrite yes I know but as a teenage girl, I would be posting a lot of rants (refer to url if in doubt) and these rants won't be as 'nice' and polite. I think by putting the previous name as my blog name, it would be totally inappropriate for me to write and rant about all sorts of pointless things, yeah?
I decided to write today because I realized that now I actually have internet access even in the dorms, so that means I can update whenever I want about whatever things. And I don't think it's fair for my blog to be promoted in the newspaper, and I don't even update. So here's some rants.
As Malaysians, we were raised to think that public display of affection (PDA) for married couples is embarrassing. I've heard people say,
"Eh, taknak la peluk peluk ni. Malu la, dah kahwin."
"Tua-tua & dah kahwin pun nak pegang pegang."
The thing is, marriage does not indicate that it is the time for you to stop showing affection towards your spouse. We think that marriage is the ultimate symbol of love, so affectionate gestures are not important anymore.
Well, I think this is stupid.
What makes it okay for you to be all affectionate to your girlfriends/boyfriends but not to your wife/hubby? This is quite a bizarre thing for a 16 year old to think about but hey, age does not define maturity. As I was saying, being Muslims, we are prohibited to have any physical contact with non muhrims. So think. Why do we discriminate against PDAs of married couples? Isn't that also a way of agreeing that it is okay for us to be touching our girlfriends/boyfriends? Whoops.
Try a new way if thinking. You'll be surprised by the abundance of good that will come with it.
p.s. I should take a chill pill.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Celebrations.
I Can Barely Say - The Fray
Assalamualaikum.
Happy Eid Mubarak to all! It's tradition to go around and visit our relatives, so why not do so? (even if you don't know them, really. Who knows? You might bump into some cool people!) Anyway, the point of Eid is actually to celebrate our success in finishing Ramadhan, and improving ourselves. But, do we actually deserve to celebrate Eid? How did we spend our 30 days of Ramadhan? Was it really filled with good deeds and most importantly, Allah SWT? It's time to rethink and reflect. Maybe we could do a lot better next year, In Shaa Allah.
There's a lot on my mind, and there's a bunch of stuff that I thought I'd share. However, writing about rude people on my blog? Well, sorry. They don't belong here. Whoops. Anyway, I hope all of you have a good Syawal. I'm off to school on Sunday, so I guess a hiatus is to be expected soon.
Ps. Respect the elders.
Assalamualaikum.
Happy Eid Mubarak to all! It's tradition to go around and visit our relatives, so why not do so? (even if you don't know them, really. Who knows? You might bump into some cool people!) Anyway, the point of Eid is actually to celebrate our success in finishing Ramadhan, and improving ourselves. But, do we actually deserve to celebrate Eid? How did we spend our 30 days of Ramadhan? Was it really filled with good deeds and most importantly, Allah SWT? It's time to rethink and reflect. Maybe we could do a lot better next year, In Shaa Allah.
There's a lot on my mind, and there's a bunch of stuff that I thought I'd share. However, writing about rude people on my blog? Well, sorry. They don't belong here. Whoops. Anyway, I hope all of you have a good Syawal. I'm off to school on Sunday, so I guess a hiatus is to be expected soon.
Ps. Respect the elders.
Friday, July 11, 2014
Взрослые
Thinking Out Loud - Ed Sheeran
It's already the night of Ramadhan 14th and truth be told, I've learned a lot. As some of may have known, I applied for the Student Representative Council (SRC) of my college in the hopes of winning and becoming a leader to all. Alhamdulillah, I am pleased to say that I didn't win. And yes, I am pleased. Being a leader to a such large community of students requires a lot of sacrifice. There's the risk of misguiding them which might lead you a step further from Jannah, who knows? The responsibility placed on your shoulders are huge, masya Allah. Trust me, I don't even know why I decided to apply.
Anyway, yes I was devastated. And yes, I did mope around for a few days but in the end, I realized that there must be a reason why I was not given the chance to be an SRC member. Maybe if I was one, I might fall out of my studies, or perhaps even misguiding the students. We never know. This Ramadhan taught me how to look at things at a different perspective. It also taught me on how to be more patient with whatever comes in your way.
Alhamdulillah, praise to be Allah that I was given the chance to rethink and indeed be positive after all that has happened. Remember that everything happens for a reason.
p.s To all SRCs, congratulations! I hope that all of you would be able to lead us all towards a better future, In Sha Allah.
It's already the night of Ramadhan 14th and truth be told, I've learned a lot. As some of may have known, I applied for the Student Representative Council (SRC) of my college in the hopes of winning and becoming a leader to all. Alhamdulillah, I am pleased to say that I didn't win. And yes, I am pleased. Being a leader to a such large community of students requires a lot of sacrifice. There's the risk of misguiding them which might lead you a step further from Jannah, who knows? The responsibility placed on your shoulders are huge, masya Allah. Trust me, I don't even know why I decided to apply.
Anyway, yes I was devastated. And yes, I did mope around for a few days but in the end, I realized that there must be a reason why I was not given the chance to be an SRC member. Maybe if I was one, I might fall out of my studies, or perhaps even misguiding the students. We never know. This Ramadhan taught me how to look at things at a different perspective. It also taught me on how to be more patient with whatever comes in your way.
Alhamdulillah, praise to be Allah that I was given the chance to rethink and indeed be positive after all that has happened. Remember that everything happens for a reason.
p.s To all SRCs, congratulations! I hope that all of you would be able to lead us all towards a better future, In Sha Allah.
Thursday, June 19, 2014
Hijra
The concept of Hijra is simple. It's a change towards the better. In the rasulullah days, Hijra was simply the move of the muhajirin to Madinah. For us, Hijra is as I have mentioned earlier.
Scientists have proved that it only takes seconds for ones mood to change. Also, my ustaz once told me that the heart is the most dangerous thing for the heart is so soft; they tend to change even with a slight factor.
All I'm saying is, changes are common and it's really lot a surprise for someone to change overnight. Especially when if comes to Allah's light and guidance. You never know when you'll get your hidayah, nor will you ever know when is your death. That's why we as Muslims nowadays should start striving for Allah's redha and blessings. Regardless of your age, really. 10? 16? 56? Oh who cares. You can never be too 'uptight' or kolot, as the Malaysians would call it. Put Islam as your top priority and you'll be blessed with wonders from Allah SWT.
Ignore those negative opinions, they are all obstacles that Allah has planned for you to test your iman. Never ever ever give up. Old fashioned? Outdated? Okay. Whatever. Stand up for your religion. Live your life as you should and that is to make Allah as your top priority in life. You want to let loose? Then let loose. But always remember the guidelines of ikhtilat and socialising according to Islam's syariat. Never forget that death can come to you at any times. After all, we are the last of Muhammad's ummahs, no? The signs of kiamat are everywhere. We really should be reminded of this, Masya Allah.
Are we ready for the hereafter?
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Etkilenmiş
Youth- Daughter
A nobody in his lifetime, an icon for the ummah after leaving the world.
Born on the 15th of February 1993 (22nd Shaa'ban 1413H), Ahmad Ammar Ahmad Azam was raised in a family that prioritises the welfare of ummah more than themselves. Its really not my place to talk about him; I barely know him at all. However what he did is really something to reflect on.
When I first knew about the story of his death and what he did, Masya Allah, it struck something in me. What am I doing with my life? Here I am, wasting my time still trying to figure myself out when people out there are helping to create a better environment and a better world for the ummah. I have come to realize that life isn't just another endless cycle of school, college, marriage, careers and what not. At least not for me. Of course, maybe our ibadahs and amalans can lead us to Jannah, insya Allah. But are we really really sure? Have we really done enough to save ourselves from the fire of Jahannam?
We must remember that even Prophet Muhammad PBUH prays and performs ibadahs endlessly despite being ma'sum (free of sins).
What about us? Have we done enough?
p.s I think its about time that I stop venting out my feelings on this pointless blog and start sharing useful knowledge, reminders,etc :-)
A nobody in his lifetime, an icon for the ummah after leaving the world.
Born on the 15th of February 1993 (22nd Shaa'ban 1413H), Ahmad Ammar Ahmad Azam was raised in a family that prioritises the welfare of ummah more than themselves. Its really not my place to talk about him; I barely know him at all. However what he did is really something to reflect on.
When I first knew about the story of his death and what he did, Masya Allah, it struck something in me. What am I doing with my life? Here I am, wasting my time still trying to figure myself out when people out there are helping to create a better environment and a better world for the ummah. I have come to realize that life isn't just another endless cycle of school, college, marriage, careers and what not. At least not for me. Of course, maybe our ibadahs and amalans can lead us to Jannah, insya Allah. But are we really really sure? Have we really done enough to save ourselves from the fire of Jahannam?
We must remember that even Prophet Muhammad PBUH prays and performs ibadahs endlessly despite being ma'sum (free of sins).
What about us? Have we done enough?
p.s I think its about time that I stop venting out my feelings on this pointless blog and start sharing useful knowledge, reminders,etc :-)
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