the realest reality

I Hate U I Love U - Gnash (ft. Olivia O'Brien)

This topic is requested by a close friend, hence the sudden eagerness to write. This is for you, N. 

Feelings come and go naturally, and they can't be forced. I'm sorry that I hate this one shit boy in class and the other girl in class, too, and I'm sorry that I have loved you ever since that one text many years ago. See, these things we call feelings, it's dangerously sweet. One second it makes you feel like nothing is ever wrong in the world, and the next second you want to die. It makes you want to marry a person, but it's also what makes a divorce happen. Feelings bloom, but they also die. I'd like to think of it as a flower, when you give enough attention to it, they bloom. But sooner or later, they die. And unless you are ready to let the flower go, you too, become consumed of the death of it that they bring you towards your own downfall.

Now, I'm not here to preach on how these strong feelings are supposed to be driven towards Allah and Muhammad SAW because we all are aware of it (and In Shaa Allah we're getting there). I'm here to tell you that sometimes these kind of feeling towards a guy/girl becomes too strong that sometimes you can't let go. He's all that you think about, day and night. In whatever you do, you see yourself doing it with that particular person and whatever you're thinking, you wish that you are able to share it with the person, too. This is already bad (I'm not saying that I don't experience this at all, but I'm struggling not to and hopefully I'll succeed) but what makes it worse for us experiencing this is that they're not even yours to start with. But that's the thing about crushes, no? They literally crush your heart. Aha. Now you know why they're called crushes.

So how do we deal with these overwhelming feelings of love? (I was going to say you don't, but I should stay positive. Ha.)  It's going to be a tough ride, but in the end, it's for the best. Sometimes you really need to rid yourself of all the hopes that you have. Don't put too much hope on a person, especially if a person is tied to someone else. It breaks you, I swear. So please, I love you too much to see you break so hard. Act natural -I know I don't do this, but it really helps- especially if you used to be close to the person. Stop and talk to them (really, sab?) and treat them like you used to. I'm not saying that it will make the feeling fade away, it really won't. But when you talk to them often, you tend to miss the person less, and hence less time will be spent thinking of them. Sometimes you only think of the person often because you miss them, like I do. And I still spend time thinking of him, but maybe that's because I don't talk to him. It gets too awkward sometimes. But never mind that. Distractions are good, too. Like books, but don't go for romance or you'll be left with more thoughts on all the romantic things that you'd want to do with her/him. I really can't think of more things on how to make you stop thinking of the person, because really, it depends on you. To me, these ways help best in distracting me of the thoughts. But certain people have different ways (but please, don't drink your way to oblivion or take drugs heh) so how bout you do the thinking now? Dig deep, find ways. But of course, what else is better than the words of Allah, eh?


P. s. I hope this helps, N. I really do. Because I feel the same way, but I know we can get through this. Let's put SPM first on our list, yeah? 
P. p. s. And to others, hope this helps, too :-)