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| ig: alyaaziran |
Sunday, September 27, 2015
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I'm here to say I'm sorry. And I'm here to ask you to pray for me, pray that I'd get 9A+ In Shaa Allah. Please pray that I would be a successful doctor one day, and that my journey in pursuing my passion is smooth. Thank you.
Sunday, September 20, 2015
the realest reality
I Hate U I Love U - Gnash (ft. Olivia O'Brien)
This topic is requested by a close friend, hence the sudden eagerness to write. This is for you, N.
Feelings come and go naturally, and they can't be forced. I'm sorry that I hate this one shit boy in class and the other girl in class, too, and I'm sorry that I have loved you ever since that one text many years ago. See, these things we call feelings, it's dangerously sweet. One second it makes you feel like nothing is ever wrong in the world, and the next second you want to die. It makes you want to marry a person, but it's also what makes a divorce happen. Feelings bloom, but they also die. I'd like to think of it as a flower, when you give enough attention to it, they bloom. But sooner or later, they die. And unless you are ready to let the flower go, you too, become consumed of the death of it that they bring you towards your own downfall.
Now, I'm not here to preach on how these strong feelings are supposed to be driven towards Allah and Muhammad SAW because we all are aware of it (and In Shaa Allah we're getting there). I'm here to tell you that sometimes these kind of feeling towards a guy/girl becomes too strong that sometimes you can't let go. He's all that you think about, day and night. In whatever you do, you see yourself doing it with that particular person and whatever you're thinking, you wish that you are able to share it with the person, too. This is already bad (I'm not saying that I don't experience this at all, but I'm struggling not to and hopefully I'll succeed) but what makes it worse for us experiencing this is that they're not even yours to start with. But that's the thing about crushes, no? They literally crush your heart. Aha. Now you know why they're called crushes.
So how do we deal with these overwhelming feelings of love? (I was going to say you don't, but I should stay positive. Ha.) It's going to be a tough ride, but in the end, it's for the best. Sometimes you really need to rid yourself of all the hopes that you have. Don't put too much hope on a person, especially if a person is tied to someone else. It breaks you, I swear. So please, I love you too much to see you break so hard. Act natural -I know I don't do this, but it really helps- especially if you used to be close to the person. Stop and talk to them (really, sab?) and treat them like you used to. I'm not saying that it will make the feeling fade away, it really won't. But when you talk to them often, you tend to miss the person less, and hence less time will be spent thinking of them. Sometimes you only think of the person often because you miss them, like I do. And I still spend time thinking of him, but maybe that's because I don't talk to him. It gets too awkward sometimes. But never mind that. Distractions are good, too. Like books, but don't go for romance or you'll be left with more thoughts on all the romantic things that you'd want to do with her/him. I really can't think of more things on how to make you stop thinking of the person, because really, it depends on you. To me, these ways help best in distracting me of the thoughts. But certain people have different ways (but please, don't drink your way to oblivion or take drugs heh) so how bout you do the thinking now? Dig deep, find ways. But of course, what else is better than the words of Allah, eh?
P. s. I hope this helps, N. I really do. Because I feel the same way, but I know we can get through this. Let's put SPM first on our list, yeah?
P. p. s. And to others, hope this helps, too :-)
This topic is requested by a close friend, hence the sudden eagerness to write. This is for you, N.
Feelings come and go naturally, and they can't be forced. I'm sorry that I hate this one shit boy in class and the other girl in class, too, and I'm sorry that I have loved you ever since that one text many years ago. See, these things we call feelings, it's dangerously sweet. One second it makes you feel like nothing is ever wrong in the world, and the next second you want to die. It makes you want to marry a person, but it's also what makes a divorce happen. Feelings bloom, but they also die. I'd like to think of it as a flower, when you give enough attention to it, they bloom. But sooner or later, they die. And unless you are ready to let the flower go, you too, become consumed of the death of it that they bring you towards your own downfall.
Now, I'm not here to preach on how these strong feelings are supposed to be driven towards Allah and Muhammad SAW because we all are aware of it (and In Shaa Allah we're getting there). I'm here to tell you that sometimes these kind of feeling towards a guy/girl becomes too strong that sometimes you can't let go. He's all that you think about, day and night. In whatever you do, you see yourself doing it with that particular person and whatever you're thinking, you wish that you are able to share it with the person, too. This is already bad (I'm not saying that I don't experience this at all, but I'm struggling not to and hopefully I'll succeed) but what makes it worse for us experiencing this is that they're not even yours to start with. But that's the thing about crushes, no? They literally crush your heart. Aha. Now you know why they're called crushes.
So how do we deal with these overwhelming feelings of love? (I was going to say you don't, but I should stay positive. Ha.) It's going to be a tough ride, but in the end, it's for the best. Sometimes you really need to rid yourself of all the hopes that you have. Don't put too much hope on a person, especially if a person is tied to someone else. It breaks you, I swear. So please, I love you too much to see you break so hard. Act natural -I know I don't do this, but it really helps- especially if you used to be close to the person. Stop and talk to them (really, sab?) and treat them like you used to. I'm not saying that it will make the feeling fade away, it really won't. But when you talk to them often, you tend to miss the person less, and hence less time will be spent thinking of them. Sometimes you only think of the person often because you miss them, like I do. And I still spend time thinking of him, but maybe that's because I don't talk to him. It gets too awkward sometimes. But never mind that. Distractions are good, too. Like books, but don't go for romance or you'll be left with more thoughts on all the romantic things that you'd want to do with her/him. I really can't think of more things on how to make you stop thinking of the person, because really, it depends on you. To me, these ways help best in distracting me of the thoughts. But certain people have different ways (but please, don't drink your way to oblivion or take drugs heh) so how bout you do the thinking now? Dig deep, find ways. But of course, what else is better than the words of Allah, eh?
P. s. I hope this helps, N. I really do. Because I feel the same way, but I know we can get through this. Let's put SPM first on our list, yeah?
P. p. s. And to others, hope this helps, too :-)
Saturday, September 19, 2015
how to survive a tech apocalypse 101
The Struggle - Grizfolk
Imagine being 300km away from home, stuck with 2 (extra) annoying siblings -i'm kidding- and having to watch your phone slip away in just mere seconds. Well congratulations to me! I went through all of the above, hence the title. Now, most of you knows about this tragedy (like Fayed bc i know he would be reading this somewhere, somehow, sometime) would be laughing your ass out, but to those who don't, I lost my phone to the toilet. Yes, it jumped out of my pocket. YES I DROPPED IT IN THE TOILET BECAUSE IT JUMPED OUT OF THE POCKET OF MY STUPID KHAKIS. And the worst part is, the only part that survived was the back cover. How useless. But here's some tips for all you who cannot be separated with technology (esp your phone) like me because honestly, I kept searching my pocket and my bag for the phone that was probably already sinking in some stupid poop place. Hoho.
#1 : Never EVER put your phone in your pocket when going to the toilet.
Okay maybe this one suits 'how to prevent a tech apocalypse' more than 'surviving a tech apocalypse' but it is the most important thing you should remember because not having a phone sucks. It really does. (especially when you have just rekindled your friendship with a certain someone and you're desperate to text them but you can't). So remember, no phones in the toilet!!!!!!!
#2 : Take a few moments to grieve over it, but remember to get back up on your feet.
Cry as much as you want, but keep it short. Keep it less emotional because well, even if there are a lot of meaningful texts and conversations in the phone, the memories are still etched in your brain, no?
#3 : Find something else to be attached to (a person could be good too, jk).
It is a well known fact that I'm a bookworm, so I took an initiative to search for books as a distraction. This is a great step, because for someone who constantly craves for the touch of the phone (like me), it gives you something better to focus on. Or maybe instead of books you can find people to fangirl (like Angel) (I'm kidding) or newfound friends who share the same sorrow as you.
#4 : Borrow phones, but be considerate.
Aha. I borrowed my dorm mate's phones (and the aforementioned annoying friend's phone, too) to call my parents, too but try to keep it at the minimum level. School kids tends to use prepaid more than postpaid so let's keep that in mind, shall we?
#5 : When telling your parents, pick the one that you think is going to be less angry at you .
Losing your phone down the toilet is a goddamned tragedy which tends to get most people in huge trouble. Luckily, I wasn't one of the victims of this huge trouble. But really, I told my mum immediately and I thought she'd flip, but she didn't. I guess she was in a good mood :-) Choose wisely, friends. Haha.
#6 : Solve the problem.
Get a new sim card, renew your number, that sort of stuff. It is vital that you update the people around you if you wish to change your number. (i'm honestly too lazy to continue with this)
I shall leave you to ponder on this, but please, try to prevent losing your phone. It sucks a lot hoho.
Til I find time and inspiration to write, ciao.
Imagine being 300km away from home, stuck with 2 (extra) annoying siblings -i'm kidding- and having to watch your phone slip away in just mere seconds. Well congratulations to me! I went through all of the above, hence the title. Now, most of you knows about this tragedy (like Fayed bc i know he would be reading this somewhere, somehow, sometime) would be laughing your ass out, but to those who don't, I lost my phone to the toilet. Yes, it jumped out of my pocket. YES I DROPPED IT IN THE TOILET BECAUSE IT JUMPED OUT OF THE POCKET OF MY STUPID KHAKIS. And the worst part is, the only part that survived was the back cover. How useless. But here's some tips for all you who cannot be separated with technology (esp your phone) like me because honestly, I kept searching my pocket and my bag for the phone that was probably already sinking in some stupid poop place. Hoho.
#1 : Never EVER put your phone in your pocket when going to the toilet.
Okay maybe this one suits 'how to prevent a tech apocalypse' more than 'surviving a tech apocalypse' but it is the most important thing you should remember because not having a phone sucks. It really does. (especially when you have just rekindled your friendship with a certain someone and you're desperate to text them but you can't). So remember, no phones in the toilet!!!!!!!
#2 : Take a few moments to grieve over it, but remember to get back up on your feet.
Cry as much as you want, but keep it short. Keep it less emotional because well, even if there are a lot of meaningful texts and conversations in the phone, the memories are still etched in your brain, no?
#3 : Find something else to be attached to (a person could be good too, jk).
It is a well known fact that I'm a bookworm, so I took an initiative to search for books as a distraction. This is a great step, because for someone who constantly craves for the touch of the phone (like me), it gives you something better to focus on. Or maybe instead of books you can find people to fangirl (like Angel) (I'm kidding) or newfound friends who share the same sorrow as you.
#4 : Borrow phones, but be considerate.
Aha. I borrowed my dorm mate's phones (and the aforementioned annoying friend's phone, too) to call my parents, too but try to keep it at the minimum level. School kids tends to use prepaid more than postpaid so let's keep that in mind, shall we?
#5 : When telling your parents, pick the one that you think is going to be less angry at you .
Losing your phone down the toilet is a goddamned tragedy which tends to get most people in huge trouble. Luckily, I wasn't one of the victims of this huge trouble. But really, I told my mum immediately and I thought she'd flip, but she didn't. I guess she was in a good mood :-) Choose wisely, friends. Haha.
#6 : Solve the problem.
Get a new sim card, renew your number, that sort of stuff. It is vital that you update the people around you if you wish to change your number. (i'm honestly too lazy to continue with this)
I shall leave you to ponder on this, but please, try to prevent losing your phone. It sucks a lot hoho.
Til I find time and inspiration to write, ciao.
Saturday, August 15, 2015
I Can't Stop
Heart Like Yours - Willamette Stone
I know I said I wasn't going to write until SPM, tonight feels like one of the night I should be writing. So I write.
In life, unexpected things happen. You fall in and out of love everyday, you bump into a person you once knew, life just happens the way it does. Sometimes, you plan and it doesn't work out because life got in the way. Well, maybe that's how it's supposed to be. But that's not my point. Being in a boarding school, I know everyone and I can say that pretty much everyone knows me, too (maybe the younger ones don't but-) and sometimes I don't always get along with people. Somehow, this year, my relationships with people improved, and I started to talk more with the people I usually don't ever talk to. Heck, I still hate a lot of people from here but I could say that it has.......well, decreased (perhaps by 0.01%). The thing is, these people I don't talk to didn't turn out to be quite the person I expected them to be. I don't judge them on a first impression basis, because I've been with them for almost five years now. I observe and I think of how they would behave. But oh well, I'm not always right, am I? They turn out quite better than I expected them to be, though some did prove my positive thinking about them wrong. Regardless, I've learned that maybe everything is not how it seems. And maybe, it could be better. So hey, why not smile to the next person you meet? It could be the start to an amazing friendship........or it could be a disaster. Whatever. I choose to live recklessly (really???) (while obeying the obligations of Islam, of course) (nah I don't think so but yes let's believe I'll live recklessly)
I wrote this a while ago but the internet at school was being difficult and stubborn. So here it is, my thoughts from over a week ago (because I thought of writing a new one but I've literally no idea on what to say). But hey, new header everyone everybody [cue all the imaginary screams and shouts]!
I know I said I wasn't going to write until SPM, tonight feels like one of the night I should be writing. So I write.
In life, unexpected things happen. You fall in and out of love everyday, you bump into a person you once knew, life just happens the way it does. Sometimes, you plan and it doesn't work out because life got in the way. Well, maybe that's how it's supposed to be. But that's not my point. Being in a boarding school, I know everyone and I can say that pretty much everyone knows me, too (maybe the younger ones don't but-) and sometimes I don't always get along with people. Somehow, this year, my relationships with people improved, and I started to talk more with the people I usually don't ever talk to. Heck, I still hate a lot of people from here but I could say that it has.......well, decreased (perhaps by 0.01%). The thing is, these people I don't talk to didn't turn out to be quite the person I expected them to be. I don't judge them on a first impression basis, because I've been with them for almost five years now. I observe and I think of how they would behave. But oh well, I'm not always right, am I? They turn out quite better than I expected them to be, though some did prove my positive thinking about them wrong. Regardless, I've learned that maybe everything is not how it seems. And maybe, it could be better. So hey, why not smile to the next person you meet? It could be the start to an amazing friendship........or it could be a disaster. Whatever. I choose to live recklessly (really???) (while obeying the obligations of Islam, of course) (nah I don't think so but yes let's believe I'll live recklessly)
I wrote this a while ago but the internet at school was being difficult and stubborn. So here it is, my thoughts from over a week ago (because I thought of writing a new one but I've literally no idea on what to say). But hey, new header everyone everybody [cue all the imaginary screams and shouts]!
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